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Help, I Live In a Small Town How Do I Meet a Man?
Ask The Old Gay Dude
The Old Gay Dude comment 0 Comments

Hi Old Gay Dude,

Hi I live in Basingstoke and am 40. I was wondering how I can meet anyone. Online dating scares me and I don’t drink but would like a bit of male company as I live with my mum and it’s been 5 years now.

Finding someone at 40

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Hey FSA40,

Good for you, every mom should be so lucky as to have their 40 year old gay son helping out around the house. The only thing you had to sacrifice was your entire love life…
We were going to have to tackle this one sooner or later so let’s get it out of the way. So how do you find some hard meat to get you through those lonely nights in Basingstoke or any smaller town for that matter? Wait, we need additional roadblocks; lives with mum, doesn’t drink, won’t go online… Got it.
Gays in small towns are like driving a car by a deer flooded countryside. They appear when you least expect them, or never at all. In small towns, gays are an invisible minority. Unless we are out and LOUD, you don’t see us. We try to blend in and it’s safer that way. Fortunately for you, smaller towns have no gay bars so it matters less that you don’t drink. My advice to all my young readers is move to a big city, tomorrow. Just move. However FSA40, you stuck with your mum which is a noble crusade and it’s a little late for you to pick up and move. So you will have to work with what you got. Frankly, your situation sucks for getting laid and your limitations only make things worse. It’s a long shot but sometimes even small towns have LGBT community centers. Volunteer there, find a hot guy and get interested in whatever he does. You may get a date.
Half of being a successful gay is confronting fear, and this case is no different. The Silver Bullet solution to living in a small town is gay online dating. Yes it’s terrible, you will get ghosted, flaked out on and trampled by obnoxious one-word millennial come-ons like “hey” or “what’s up”. Listen you can crab about all the things you won’t do but whether purposeful or not, the situation you created there living with your mum in Basingstoke is difficult to turn in to a gay happy ending. You are going to have to bend and give at some point and gay apps while creepy are the least painful. So buck up big boy cause it’s gonna be a bumpy ride. Install grindr and find a man to get you off!

The Old Gay Dude

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